All The Feels

I wanted to write about this feeling because I know I can’t be alone and if I am not alone then that means that this blog, my sharing, can maybe bring comfort or validity to someone. When we began on this journey of looking for a new house, it was met with a lot of excitement and also nerves. Would we find the right house? How much would it be? How would our kids handle it? How would we handle it? How can we leave our current house? Will we love it? Are we making the right decision? These questions plus about 200 more probably ran through my brain more times than I could count. And some of them I was able to get answers to, some of them I had to decide to be okay not having answers for and others, if I am being completely honest are still floating in my brain.

But this is what I do know:

• The house we are in right now and looking to sell, is not just a house, it is a home, it is our haven, it was our foundation for our family and core memories were made there. And that is okay, it’s actually better than okay, it’s a true gift that we had and one that we get to say goodbye to. But these feelings also don’t leave when we leave the house, they don’t belong to the house, they are memories and part of our life that we will take with us wherever we go.

• Sadness comes not only in leaving the house but also the street, the neighbors, the community and that is priceless. Our lives were richer for it and there is a future chapter where we have a new area that feels like home too.

• I need to feel all the feels because if I don’t, when will I. And the feelings of sadness or discomfort of other people walking through our house or being in our space are not ones that diminish the excitement for the next adventure, these feelings have the space to exist together.

I say all this and sound at peace but know it’s all with a heavy heart and that might be something that some people really empathize with or it might be something that some people think I am crazy for but here it is either way. And what’s next? I have no idea. But I can tell you what I am hoping for, I am hoping we get multiple offers for our home and it sells for above asking. I am hoping that it sells to a young couple who were like us 7 years ago and can build a beautiful life here too. I am hoping that these feelings get a little less heavy and a little easier to live with and that things settle into place.

We are planning for what's ahead but also know that we are subject to a lot of undetermined factors that will affect other things and so I am breathing, I am trusting me and my husband and what we are doing for our family and the rest, we will just tackle as it comes our way.

If you are in a similar scenario or have been, know that you’re not alone and that it’s okay to feel it all and for it all to feel like too much, but you are stronger than you believe and you are in the right place for where you need to be at this moment.

You got this.