Things I Didn't Think I Could Do After I Had Kids
I am a firm believer that in your life you have chapters and that those chapters hold a moment in time version of you. As you live and grow those versions evolve and some things stay and others fade and there is something really beautiful about it all. I am sure I am not alone in this, but the chapter from pre-kids to mom was probably the biggest change in my character and who I was. After I had kids, my mind was hungry but cloudy, my heart was softer but fierce, my emotions were overflowing but strong and my body felt worn but unbreakable. And with those things I couldn't help but look around and collect a list of things that I just think I would never do or do again. But jokes on me, I was only fooling myself.
11/2/2025
1. Make a risky (and scary) career choice
When you're in a job for over a decade it becomes so much a part of how you identify yourself and who you are. The title, the company, the coworkers, the salary, the tasks that make up the day to day, it all makes you feel like, you. Giving yourself the space to rethink that job title, job description and how you got there might just be a life changing moment. It's scary as hell and kind of world shattering because you are breaking apart the thing that probably was the most routine and defined for so much of your life but guess what? It's also going to be probably the most beautiful.
I am fully well aware that I am beyond lucky that I can step back and have the support to not only ask those questions but actually hear the answers, sit in them, be lost and then take the time to figure out what's next. To be very honest, I never thought that amongst the weight of motherhood and family life that I'd have the mental, emotional and physical ability to do this for myself. And if I am being very honest again, it was the greatest gift in over 35 years of life I have been able to give myself.
2. Run a 10k (ah!)
I have always loved running, lacing up, putting on my playlist, breathing in that fresh air and just going for it. I ran a lot before kids, I ran a bit pregnant, and even less post partum. But as I am sure a lot of you know, your body changes not only insane amounts while growing humans inside you but then physically birthing, then letting them go and re-building while living in a body that just did all of that. I knew I would run again, and I even fell in love with biking post-babies which I never thought would be something I would love. But this past summer, I let myself run again without limits, without the voices in my head saying I had to run back home because it was too long, or too much. And then I set a goal, 10k, a distance I had never run, for a length of time I never thought I could endure. And then you know what happened? I did it. Not only did I do it, but at the end of it, I felt like I could keep going. So here I am, post kids, hitting running milestones I didn't think possible and setting goals I didn't think I would even dream of. 2026 feels like a half marathon kind of year, don't you think?
3. Make authentic, great, new friendships
When you're an adult, in a job at a company you are very familiar with and without kids yet or very new babies, new adult friendships is probably the most foreign concept. But let me tell you, it happens and as its happening and when it happens, it's probably the coolest thing to feel. For me, the friendships happened on the base on my girls new friendships and boy am I grateful for those butting little kid forming friendships because it was those that I was able to find these women who I am so grateful for. They truly happened authentically, yes they really took form at birthday parties with "strangers" that at first made me nervous but now bring me comfort. So don't worry, they will come, they will form and it might be 4 or it might be 1, but no matter the count they will be real, they will be amazing and I have this feeling they will be long lasting.
4. Truly be able to let shit go that I have no control over
When you first have kids you are at your bare minimum so there's only so much you can handle but then as you become a mother, something happens. It might be therapy (and a lot of it), it might be shedding old relationships or gaining new ones, it might be really finding yourself in motherhood but somewhere along the lines, what matters and what doesn't really settles in. I wasn't just saying "let it go" anymore I was actually letting it go. And listen, it doesn't happen for everything and some are harder than others but the clarity in what is good for me and my family in this stage of life is very clear to me and that in itself makes it so easy to put things down, to stop trying or to just let it go. The more I can, the better I get, so know it's possible.
I share these things in hopes of showing some of you that for the things I didn't think were possible, they were and that even though it is a ever moving target, it's that, it's moving and that is some kind of wonderful. I am excited to see what other things get added to this list. And if you're at the beginning of your "I can't see it" chapter, just know that's usually the beginning of the "I can do it" chapter also.