What I Learnt This Past Year About Being A Mom

I didn’t need to “fix” every hard moment

I spent a lot of time trying to smooth things over — rushing emotions, offering solutions too quickly, trying to make everything okay. What I learned, more than ever, is that not every hard moment needs a fix. Sometimes what my kids, what I needed was just to sit down and take a breath with no words. And honestly, so did that, and the more I did it in those really hard moments, the more I realized what I always knew, which is that the simple solutions always work best.

Being tired doesn’t go away, but that's okay.

I used to treat exhaustion sometimes like a personal failure. Like if I were more organized, more efficient, more together, I wouldn’t feel so worn down. This year taught me that being tired often just means I’m showing up every damn day, and I am giving it my best — even when it costs something.

The mental load is heavier than I expected

It’s not just the doing — it’s the remembering, anticipating, planning, and holding space for everyone else. The invisible work is what drains me most. Naming it helped. Sharing it helped more. Letting go of doing it all alone changed everything.

My kids don’t need a better version of me — they need me

There were so many moments I felt like I should be calmer, more patient, more fun. What I’ve come to see is that my kids don’t need perfection. They need my honesty, my presence, and my willingness to try again after a hard moment.

Rest looks different in this season

Rest isn’t always sleep-ins and quiet mornings. Sometimes it’s a deep breath in the bathroom, a walk alone, working out instead of watching a show, flipping through a magazine or choosing not to add one more thing to the calendar. This year taught me that rest can be small and still matter.

I’m allowed to grieve the parts of motherhood that feel heavy

Loving my kids deeply doesn’t cancel out the loss of independence, quiet, freedom or the version of myself I once was. Both can exist. Giving myself permission to acknowledge that made motherhood feel lighter, not heavier. I can't relate to moms who gloss it all over and sugar coat it all, it's not reality and in this walk, I take honesty and truth over anything else.

I don’t have to carry it all into the new year

As this year closes, I’m realizing I don’t need to bring every lesson, every habit, every expectation forward with me. Some things can stay here. Some weights can be put down.

Motherhood isn’t something I “figured out” this year — but I understand myself better a bit within it this season. And that feels like enough right now. Being a mom and everything that goes with it, is a moving target because as they grow, our worlds change, my husband grows, I grow and as a family we grow. Knowing that, knowing that everything is fleeting and everchanging is the best thing I have come to learn.

If you’re in this in-between space too, tired and reflective and still trying — you’re not behind. You’re right where you’re meant to be.